Self-help: Keeping up with Ms Jones
Eloise Fysh learns from Helen Fielding's modern heroine

By Eloise Fysh, Daily Post - November 11, 2004

As loveable, weight obsessed, self-helping singleton Bridget Jones returns to cinema screens after a three-year gap tomorrow, there's no doubt she's as popular as ever.

After all, how many women haven't tried in vain to drop a dress size or two, had a glass of wine too many, suffered embarrassment or nursed a broken heart at one time or another?

It's these familiar imperfections that set Bridget apart from the glossy screen heroines we usually aspire to.

But it's those imperfections - including her ability to acknowledge her faults with good grace and bounce back in one piece - that we could all benefit from.

Donna Freitas, author of Becoming A Goddess Of Inner Poise (Jossey-Bass, priced pounds 9. 99), says we don't need to look for high brow or ''worthy'' role models these days, when the path to enlightenment could be staring us in the face.

''Bridget struggles to attain what she calls Inner Poise throughout both her diaries - what I now see a sa kind of enlightenment for today's 20 and 30-something women,'' she says.

''By looking at Bridget's character, we learn that achieving inner poise is not about steeling ourselves against the world as if we are almighty, distant god-figures but about discovering the messier side of the divine: a goddess that feels, cares, grieves, and knows when life calls for laughter.''

So, if Bridget really is more than just a good night out, what can we learn from our heroine? 

Pick up a pen

BRIDGET'S diary is central to her appeal, providing a no-holds-barred insight into the workings of her mind.

And life coach Claire Beecroft says that keeping your own journal can be incredibly good for you.

''It's a great way of offloading all the clutter from your mind,'' she explains.

''By writing a diary, you can express yourself without worrying about your reputation. It can take the brunt of your frustrations, and won't ever get tired of listening to you. 'By writing down her thoughts and feelings, Bridget is able to make sense of it all and come up with her own solutions. If you write down what you really want and figure out the reasons why, you're much more likely to be successful in living a life with balance and fun. ''

Socialising is healthy

OF COURSE, while diary-keeping is certainly therapeutic, it is a solitary exercise. Sometimes there's simply no substitute for summoning a gang of kindred spirits to chew the fat with over life's ups and downs.

Freitas highlights the importance of Bridget's friends in her ongoing quest for inner poise and happiness.

''As a Singleton, it is free-form friendship rather than family or religion that is Bridget's sustaining force and provider of nurturing community.''

So, with family support often a bit hit or miss, it seems we're finding solid friendships more important than ever.

Beecroft agrees that regular socialising is healthy.

''Friends offer a great support network which is really important. They provide respect, reassurance, fun and affection.''

Feasting, dancing and drinking together have been used successfully throughout history to celebrate togetherness and shared objectives. And, according to Freitas, these rituals should be prioritised.

''It is through shared ritual that our spiritual lives become connected to those we love, turning the conversations that occur over dinner into vehicles through which the sacred significance of our connections becomes apparent.''

The best medicine

THE CONTENTS of Bridget's colourful diary range from the mundane (which pants to wear) to the sublime (the pros and cons of feminism) - but Freitas suggests it's the way she tells it that's key.

''Bridget articulates the identity struggles of women in manner of the v funny, helping her audience face ambiguity with a grin. A good giggle can literally pull us out of despair and suddenly make the world look bright again. It can give us perspective when we've lost it. It can heal our hurt. 'It is also a deep human need, in much the same way as we need food.''

Inner poise

''BRIDGET is open minded and forever looking at new ways to become a better version of herself. She doesn't try to be something she's not. '' says Claire Beecroft.

In today's society we're free to make our own rules. While we donate virtuously to charity on one hand, we can blithely blow our hard-earned cash on a fabulous shoes on the other, so it's up to us to discover our own individual recipe for happiness.

And, no matter how many self-help books we read, or mistakes we make along the way, it's making the effort that counts, says Donna Freitas.

''Bridget completely embraces life even if that means making a fool of herself.

So, by taking note of our own thoughts and feelings and remembering to see the funny side of life, it's really not that hard to get on the path to enlightenment. 

©2004 MGN Ltd.